Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Things Ive Seen in NYC After 3 Days

I suppose you could see any of this stuff anywhere, and I have seen some of this stuff-more or less-in SF, but in 2 days, Ive seen some pretty nutty things. I hate cliche's as much as the next guy, but my lord, some of these things I thought I'd only see in movies...then again, most of the sights to be seen are what one might expect. Either way, if you hate deuschy tourists who throw the phrase "Only in New York!" around like they totally expected NYC to be like Des Moines, then you probably shouldn't hang out in Times Square(deuschy tourist capitol of the world) and go watch "Sex in the City" you uber-cool, streetwise New Yorker.
Side Note: did New Yorkers really watch this show? Was it just a romaniticization for the rest of the world? a ploy to boost tourism? whatever.

Where else in America can you see:
  • A man masturbating through the zipper hole of his pants - wiener hanging out, in 30degree weather during the morning commute
  • Two people dressed like ducks humping in broad daylight - duckhumping - heh
  • A giant rat...not that cool, but you always hear people talk about "the rats in New York"...I was just stoked to have that stereotype validated
  • Saw a dude literally fall to the ground, limp, mid stride like that dude in that Radiohead song "Just"

  • And my personal favorite...my coworker and roommate for my first night, Charlie, saw Gilbert Godfried...probably squaking like a bird or chewing on a carrot(thats what Gilbert Godfried does in my mind, err nightmares)
What, did you think I was going to talk about Ground Zero or the Empire State building? Ill be posting some pix Ive taken with my phone over the next few days, let me know if you have any suggestions.

2 comments:

tommy o said...

Please post pics of the ducks, hahahahahahahaha. That's awesome.

pob said...

You should ruin two career criminals plan to rob a toy store on Christmas Eve and then to further their embarrassment set up an intricate series of traps in a house that is owned by your aunt and uncle but currently being renovated only to get caught at the very end but then to be saved by a homeless lady you met in the park earlier that week.