In Philly Yallz

**Note from Ryan: Im back in the PST, but wrote this post in Philadelphia and forgot to publish. A work from the past if you will. Heath Ledger style (too soon?) WWHD! we love you Heath

Im in Philly. I need to leave. 17 days is too long.

Dont take it personal Philly, youve been really cool to me. A lot cooler than expected actually, by far. Its just, I'm tired. And I want to sleep in my own bed. And I don't want to eat restaurant food anymore. I want to have a routine again. I wanna kick it w/tha homiez. I wanna hang out with Baldwin finally. I want to eat fruit. I wanna go to the gym...WTF.

I love buying plane tickets 1 day in advance.

Work Trip - Chicago

As anyone who's been on one before can tell you, work trips blow. And in time-tested fashion, my current trip to Chicago, errr...Berwyn, IL, indeed, blows.
Its hot in herre - 90 degrees with 50% humidity - and for some reason, the stench of sweaty, salty balls is making yearn for a public pool (i dont know, dont ask).

The town im staying in, Oak Park, is just a couple miles from the work location in Berwyn, and about 20 miles outside of Chicago. It's not necessarily a terrible place to be, but there really isn't anything to do outside of eating something, having a beer and making small talk with the bartender who's doing a terrible job of feigning interest.

Since the actual work Im doing happens to be a little sparse, I've taken to "surfing the web" - and I think ive gone through the entire internet. Finished it.
1.0 AND 2.0...guess I'll just wait for 3.0 to come out. Whatever that is, im not too sure. Time travel possibly.

Its not all bad though, the hotel im staying in is across the street from the Ernest Hemingway Museum, and less than a block away from his place of birth, and its been told that Hemingway used to kickit and drink in the little cafe inside the hotel. Thats kinda cool. But alas, the museum is only open from 1pm-5pm. Perfect timing for me NOT to be able to check it out as I hold the fort down in Berwyn.
All in all, the best part so far has been watching people go in and out of the planned parenthood/substance abuse clinic across the street. They go in and come out so sketchy lookin, its kinda fun to make up little stories for each person. Not that I'll ever know if any of it's true, its the best I got for entertainment - Im not here to judge, it just works magicly to pass the time.

Dude, British People...SERIOUSLY!

(post based on an IM conversation with the ever-so-lovely Lindsey Baldwin)

me: i had to watch pride and prejudice last night

Lindsey: ooooooooo

me: and im blaming 100% for it

Lindsey: what?! hes never seen it

me: ok, but his people are responsible
Lindsey: ah yes, very true

Lindsey: most long boring grey stuffy movies do come from those people - english patient, atonement, i could go on. they are all so boring

me: if i was british, i would start a revolution, or a club, or a group... to get rid of those movies

cuz everyone thinks theyre all whiny pussies cuz of them

me: or a blog at least

me: its just bad, bad (mis?)representation...cuz i start to think if everyone who is british is like that...all inbred-y and shrill with tights and high pitched voices

Oh well, at least they gave us English Muffins and The Beatles.

Random side thought: do you think John, Paul and George all got stoned back in the day and joked about who of them would be the last to die and have to hang out with Ringo?

Who the F is Tom Sizemore?

I seriously got made fun of for like 15 mins yesterday because I didn't know who Tom Sizemore was. I mean, he sounds like someone I've heard of, or I should have heard of. So I looked him up, checked out his pic and still - no idea. So yeah, who the F is Tom Sizemore?
He sounds like he should have his own talk show or something...Ie. "Today on the Tom Sizemore show; 'My tween is out of control and I don't know what to do! - Help me Tom!...and now your host - TOM SIZEMORE"

Idk, I heard he did hella drugs and had hooker girlfriends or something, oh well.

...or maybe I'm thinking of Tom Arnold(?)

...I Like to Rock the Party!

The party ripped, 'staches were filthy and all was right with the world.
I wish I had more of a picture to paint for those who werent there, but I drank the paint and don't remember many of the details. So all in all, the party was a success!

Here's a list of things that I do remember happening in no particular order:

• I met a lot of neighbors, however, do not even know what they look like and definitely don't remember names
• Heard that M.I.A song with the guns probably a million times...or at least it felt like it
• We should have had an award of series of awards for best mustache(s)
  
• EVERYONE wanted to smoke me out on our "back patio" that isn't a patio at all and is totally enclosed
• Whoa, theres a party going on out front!
• Neighbor in a robe(and nothing else) asked me to close the windows - not that interesting, but I remember it
  
• Someone complimented me on leaving the good toilet paper out for the party - I replied "well, Im a man who appreciates a soft 2-ply"
  
• That dessert wine (or whatever it was)...terrible idea
• Jello shots with Everclear...EXCELLENT idea
• Pigs in a blanket...even BETTER idea
• Mustaches EVERYWHERE...on people, walls, ceiling, pictures, posters, floors, windows, sidewalk, you get the picture
• It felt like every person I saw I had totally forgotten I invited them, leading to that overexaggerated "OMG" moment
• If you're a 3am party straggler, you need to bring beer or pizza or something. Your "im totally friendly and interested in hearing what you have to say" attitude gets you nowhere at this time

I learned a lot that night; about life and myself. Mostly bad things...