Wednesday, January 28, 2009

H8 the New Kanye ya'll

I really like Kanye West.
Hes a self-centered ego-maniac with delusions of grandeur, but I dont care. In fact, I think I like him more because those things. I can't really come up with a sound explanation as to why this is.
Hes reached music's pinnacle as a producer and MC all by age 30, and hes a total dick. He sets some of America's lamest trends with his pink sweater vests, Louie V and shutter shades, yet there isn't a single thing about that that turns me off. And along with the critics, I genuinely like every one of his albums.
Kanye pretty much has carte blanche to do and say whatever the fuck he wants without hurting public oppinion or "cred".
But I hate his new album - Like, a lot.
(you know what Im talking about...)

Cher kinda started it with that "Do you bel-IEve in life after love" song. But how much are you going to go out of your way to listen to Cher on purpose? Lil Wayne pretty much went overboard with it on his latest album, forcing everyone to say to themselves "god I really hope this doesn't 'get hot' even though I know it will"--and then Kanye said, "what the hell, Ill make a whole album with this shit!"
Kanye, in a supposed homage to Phil Collins(wtf?) appears to have an infatuation with sounding like a robot...and a horrible singer at the same time. In case you haven't heard it; its basically an R&B album, with the typical emo-ish Kanye lyrics, then double-teamed by Radiohead's "Fitter, Happier" and ProTools. Its insufferable.
But the numbers don't lie - "808's & Heartbreak" peaked at #1 on the Billboard charts, and currently rests at #5. And once again, it appears no critic can phase King Kanye's midas touch.

Thursday, January 22, 2009


January 20th, 2009 is and was one of the most historically significant days I have lived to see. And Im damn proud to say that I am part of a generation, a society that looked beyond race, religion and class to vote Barack Obama our 44th President. After watching the Nickelback of Presidents sell our country's soul for money, greed, ego, vengeance and all things evil; for the first time in eight years, I feel hopeful and optimistic about government and the person we chose to captain the ship. There are, however, many obstacles to overcome.
The reality is our economic issues have yet to hit rock bottom, and as we saw during the election, all of our fuck-ups abroad kind of take a back seat when noone has any money here at home. So even if righting the country's wrongs seems like an Everest-like task, believe in that gut-feeling of hope, optimisim and pride and know that things are already changing for the better.

"Obama Orders Secret Prisons and Detention Camps Closed" -

"Adding Up the White House Pay Freeze" (Obama freezes the salaries of about 120 White House staffers who make $100k+ in salary) -

Writers Note: I was going to go a VERY different direction with this post, but opted to keep it classy. But hey, might as well while were you think anyone had better sex than Obama the night he became president? 5 bonus points for anyone who can give an argument for someone other than B.O. on Inauguration night.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Nothing Like I Had Imagined

A show about a hot suburban housewife who slangs dime-bags to soccer dad's, weirdo lawyers and nerdy Indian kids at the local JC.
A hysterically funny story line for a TV show on any network, especially given the recent rise of the "weed-movie" genre in hollywood.
But not so.
Well, let me retread, it IS a funny concept, however, the story line I described belongs to the definitely-not-that-funny Showtime hit, "Weeds." But don't be fooled by my (thus far) awkward description, or the notion that movies or shows about marijuana need to have Seth Rogen doing the "dice roll" or Neil Patrick Harris riding a unicorn to be good. Because "Weeds" is good, REALLY good--Its just not that funny.

After hearing about it several times and having it pop up on my Netflix radar as something I should watch (a raging clue into the types of movies/shows I Netflix...anyways), I decided to watch it "instantly" the other night (I mean, watching an entire television series...thats what unemployment's all about, right?). Nothing like a predictable comedy about suburban housewives who sell pot to the local yuppies, hippes and grannies keep the recession blues away. Well, as predictable as the weed-genre seems, "Weeds" gives the unpredictable; a suburban drama where the sale and use of marijuana is the least interesting part. Well, I lie, its pretty interesting watching a soccer mom go through a drug-dealing coming of age when she realizes the monetary difference between high quality pot and the schwag she normally buys, or the business value in having gruntwork associates pound the pavement for you.
Aside from the Desperate Houswives with boobies, better characters and drugs theme, "Weeds" has Kevin Nealon in his best role since, well...ever, and the black dude from "40 Year Old Virgin." Despite all the familiar pieces, "Weeds" is redifining the "weed-movie/show" genre as we know put your thinking cap on Seth Rogen.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Slow Start to 2009

I would like to give a sincere apology to my 5 (or so) readers for the lack of new posts in 09. I've been adjusting to my new environment and sudden drop in baller-status (downgraded from C list to D- List).
Nevertheless, I must persist. So onward and upward motherfuckers.

Now that I got that awkward and embarrassing apology out of the way (notice the perfect use of the "F word" to ease some of the tension)--Id like to finally put some thought into some of the things I want to do, experience or accomplish in 2009. This is not a list of resolutions, but just some things I'd like to have in the back of my mind throughout the year.

  • Go rock climbing - or learn how
  • Stretch everyday - I should really be able to touch my toes, not somewhere halfway down my shins
  • Learn how to play harmonica - Im such a sucker for the harmonica
  • Get my gray slacks hemmed - shits been bothering me for months
  • Save money - time to be a grown up
  • Leave the country - somewhere strange, aka NOT mexico
  • Listen to people - I mean REALLY listen, instead of just thinking what to say next
  • Go fishing - I used to love fishing when I was a kid, now I can drink beer AND fish at the same time!
  • Get to those Netflix's that have been hovering in the middle of my queue for the last year - Im talking about you 'Corpse Bride' and 'Raising Arizona'
  • Learn something new to put on my resume - no, graphing unnecessary, nonsensical correllations in excel doesn't count as a 'skill'
  • Get a job - step 1) write resume, step 2) ummmmmm....
  • Carry cash - "cash only" can be such a bummer, well the solution is simple
  • Start a compost pile - not to sound like a hippie, but what else is my unemployed-ass gonna do?
  • and of course...Write!!!