Thursday, February 19, 2009

Hall of Famer or F student?

Dating back to my days in college when my roommates and I didn't have cable, I have been watching Maury Povich, or I like to call him, for years now.
First, Id like to recognize that The Maury Povich show is pure trash. Garbage...I know; and I can come up with no other reason for watching the show other than pure boredom. But if I ever become famous, and someone asks me at a press conference if/why I ever watched MoPo, Ill say I was "young and naive" and then blame it on my cousin.
The bread & butter of the MoPo power hour is the incredibly entertaining "Are you my babies daddy? - DNA Testing"...which never gets old for me really. Fantastic stuff. But every once in a while Maury will switch it up and have a show dedicated to guessing which of the 8-10 guests on his show were born men, and which were born women. Its quite simple really. Maury introduces a guest, usually adorned in a fancy gown for the ball he/she will never be invited to, then asks the audience..."Man or Woman?"
Watching this spectacle today, and playing along with the MoPo studio audience, I began to ask myself--what is a good success rate in the "Man or Woman" game?
Obviously a perfect success rate is probably ideal in your own personal life...I gotta imagine one "wrong" guess, is one too many. But in the Maury Povich "Man or Woman?" I went 5 for 9.
Thats an F - 55%. But in baseball terms, thats a .555 batting average. Im a Hall of Famer.

So my questions is: what is considered a good success rate when playing the "Man or Woman?" game?

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Im So Over Journey...and other thoughts

Percentage of Sacramento bars that feel like you're on the set of a "straight to DVD" movie - 85%

Coldplay is the Applebee's of pop music...boring, bland, cookie cutter, production line drivel. According to my friend Conrad, "Coldplay is hella puss-core"

I like Kanye's frollet - (frollet = afro+mullet).

Straight males: if you've watched the movie "He's Just Not That Into You"; punch yourself ON the penis.

Valentine's Day...uggggghhhhhh

We all know that Comcast is terrible, but everytime I call to bitch them out their customer service people treat me so kindly I end up just agreeing with everything they say and kinda wishing we could be friends. God I suck.

Id like to conduct an experiment: how many 20-something whiteboys can you fit into a room before Journey begins playing inexplicably? Although I do not have an answer to this question, I have reason to believe that alcohol appears to be a catalyst.

Myspace is so worthless to me.

I consider myself pretty well-versed in pop-culture. I read the occasional trash blog, I watch "The Soup" and skim the headlines of the tabloids when I go to the grocery store. So how is it that I have never heard a song, hook or even a chorus by either Miley Cyrus or The Jonas Brothers? Aren't they like the most famous people ever right now?

Im so bored with sports right now. Specifically, the Sacramento Kings. How could a team and a sport I once loved so dearly, be so excruciatingly painful to watch now?

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Denny's is a Genius!

With my newfound abundance of time, I have taken up many new hobbies, my favorite being amateur advertising and marketing analysis. Ive noticed myself becoming increasingly aware of advertising campaigns and branding trends, which may have a direct correlation with the amount of time Im spending on the internet and watching TV, but that can be neither confirmed nor denied.
It seems the biggest trend in American advertising is "understanding the economic crisis". It is quite posh for companies to show they care about you during these tough economic times, in varying degrees of obviousness. Hyundai will let you give your car back if you lose your job, cities are organizing half-off gift certificates to local businesses, and Cash 4 Gold is working hard to rip off old people...I mean, "give" old people cash in exchange for their gold and jewels. But the real winner in marketing's economic crisis-a-thon is America's last option in breakfast, Denny's. Let's be real with ourselves for a second, unless you're Mike Murphy, you haven't been to Denny's in a long time, and when you consider your dine-out options, ANYTHING is a better option...Im talking like sketchy Indian buffet at 9am--and it has been like this for a long time. But it is now 2009, Barack is prez and Denny's has decided it is time for change!(in marketing, not food).

Taking the advice of White House Cheif of Staff, Rahm Emmanuel; Denny's is not letting this "crisis go to waste". Advertising (for the first time) during the super bowl that they would be giving away their signature meal, the Grand Slam, FOR FREE on the coming Tuesday. Thus resulting in a 3-pronged effect of introducing/reintroducing Denny's to the American people, showing the people that Denny's unerstands the current economic crisis and empathizes with us, and sets the free shit give-away bar at $5.99. Brilliant AND awesome.
But the true genius is in the just one day to generate the time-sensitive word of mouth buzz. And judging by the turnout (2 million people in America) the hype machine is extremely effective in short bursts. Im talking about it, local news statsions are talking about it, even the late night talk show hosts are talking about it. All the while Denny's has quietly begun a modest post-free Grand Slam ad campaign reminding us that they were there for us in our time of need. Well played Denny's, well played.
So my challenge to IHOP, what are YOU going to do to help us through these trying times?