Saturday, January 12, 2008

There Will Be Blood?...More like, There Will Be Long Drawn Out Character Development Over the Course of 3 Hours, and Really, Not That Much Blood

Don't be fooled - "There Will Be Blood" is not nearly as badass as the title might suggest. And although he won a Critic's Choice Award for Best Actor, do not expect a Bill the Butcher peformance from "Gangs of New York" out of Daniel Day-Lewis. Maybe a sign of the time period in each movie, but DDL's character in "Gangs of NY" was a lot more knife-y than his character in "There Will Be Blood," who I would call more talk-y.

The movie itself wasn't bad, a little slow, and a little demanding at 2:50 mins, but I really believe I would have liked it better if it had a different title.


So here are a few suggestions for a more appropriate title to the movie most popularly known as "There Will Be Blood":

  • There Will Be Disappointment


  • There Was Some Blood but Probably Could Have Been More


  • There Will Be Jackasses in Your Office Who Overhype This Movie


  • There Could Have Been Some Nudity (at least)


  • There Will Be Time to go to the Bathroom and not Feel Like You Missed Anything


  • There Will Be Deuschbags Who Text in the Middle of the Movie (I hate this so much)


  • There Will Be a Period of Thought and Reflection and After Initial Disappointment, There Will Be Appreciation for Storyline and Character Development

3 comments:

Patrick said...
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Patrick said...

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I had to edit this because your post title was so fucking long:



I had never even heard about this movie - is it limited release or something?

Let me look at Fandango real quick to see what movie you should have gone to instead...

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Uh, yeah I would have just sat this one out, maybe would have gone to laser tag instead possibly the batting cages.

January 15, 2008 7:14 AM

Michael said...

There will be Milkshakes?

http://nymag.com/images/2/daily/entertainment/08/01/08_ddl_lgl.jpg

I actually loved this movie. Classic with many interesting movie titles.