Tussin

Is there anything more satisfying than Robitussin? It soothes and remedies all your cough, cold and flu symptoms. It's awesome.
It has Acetaminophen. It's a pain reliever/fever reducer, antihistamine, cough suppressant and nasal decongestant. (What are histamines anyways? Who knows. But you bet your ass Robitussin is Anti-histamines)
Its even awesome to say..."Got me some TUSSIN"
or
"Rub some TUSSIN on it"
Try it.

In fact, I can't think of a single consumable product more satisfying than Robitussin.
Pizza? Maybe; although often unreliable and inconsistent(not to mention the occasional heartburn or gas).
Beer? Less consistent than pizza, and often leads to poor life-decisions.
Vitamins are alright, but not all that satisfying, and you really don't get the results as swiftly as you do with some Tussin.
Cranberry juice? Pretty satisfying; but its more of an instant gratification than a gift that keeps on giving all through the night, only to wake up feeling healthy and well-rested. Nope, Cranberry juice is just no Tussin.

Now, I know what youre thinking, and believe me, I've already thought of it. But even sex is not as satisfying as Robitussin. Much like pizza, sex can be inconsistent and unreliable. And unlike both sex and pizza, Robitussin never leaves you waking the next morning feeling dissappointed and ashamed.

Who am I kidding, being sick sucks. These are clearly the types of thoughts and rationalizations you start having when you've been sick for 5 days. But I suppose that is the beauty of Tussin, tomorrow will be a better day.