Thursday, August 28, 2008

Outside Lands 2008 forreal!

Lets start out with the best part about Outside Lands Festival, despite the $8 bajillion dollars that everyone else spent on their passes to the festival, I got in FREE!
Let that soak in for a second...suckers.

How, you ask?...well, in case I didn't rub it in your face or talk shit already at this point, I got in free using my crazy McGuyver covert mission tactics...walking(on Friday) and running(on Saturday) through the front gates(decided not to sneak in on Sunday, as having to tell people "I got caught sneaking into see Jack Johnson" would be pretty embarrasing--very detrimental to my personal brand yall).

Ill let my ballooning smugness rest for a moment and review some of the people, places and events of the weekend, using a DNC-inspired scale of Bill Clinton's and Michelle Malkin's; Bill Clinton being one of the coolest guys in the world, and Michelle Malkin being, well one of the worst(I hate you Michelle Malkin).
Here goes...
(Michelle Malkin's and Bill Clinton's given out on a scale of 1-5)

Shawn Fadden - 4 Michelle Malkin's: Shawn Fadden will follow Tom Petty tribute band Heavy Petty all over the country, make vacation plans around Heavy Petty shows, and as far as I know, knows the words to every Tom Petty song...even the obscure ones. So you would THINK a 3 day music festival in the city you used to live in, with all your friends, with free places to stay, in Golden Gate Park WITH TOM PETTY HEADLINING would be, ya know, something you'd be into a lil bit. Not Mr. Fadden. Apparently he could take or leave Tom Petty, but Heavy Petty...mark your calendars, Fadden is THERE. You suck Fadden.

Golden Gate Park - 5 Bill Clinton's: you amaze me.

Sound systems - 1 Michelle Malkin: fading in and out on one of stages, and cutting out completely on the main stage for Radiohead and Tom Petty...not gonna let it get me down, but still...come on now.

Lupe Fiasco - 3 Bill Clinton's: dude, Lupe rocks the fuck out! I mean, physically, on stage. Good stuff.

Radiohead - 4 Bill Clinton's: ok ok, so I've made a big deal about not being a Radiohead fan. But their light show ripped, and creeping through the woods of GG Park while Radiohead played live was a pretty amazing experience.

Cake - 2 Bill Clinton's: played all the hits I love from the first two albums, including "Jolene"...but I can't help but feel a little reserved with my feelings for missing Primus. You know what, I was really surprised how good Cake was, so screw it, I don't regret it for a second--3 Bill Clinton's bam!

Parties at the Firehouse - 5 Bill Clinton's: yeeeeahhhh! After looking at everyones pix and seeing hella randoms, do you ever wonder how many people in the world the Firehouse has touched?
ps. I feel sorry for anyone who had to stay there.

Tom Petty - 5 Bill Clinton's: TOM FREAKING PETTY! I will never in my lifetime forget singing "Free Fallin" and "Mary Janes Last Dance" with 50,000 other people.

People bitching about ________(insert: "lines", "muni", "parking", etc.) - 1 Michelle Malkin: STFU

The Food - 1 Bill Clinton: Not terrible and a couple dollars under what I would expect at a festival-type event.

The Bitter End the night before - 2 Bill Clinton's: Raging! However, I couldn't help but feel as though the whole night was missing a certain Davin Affrunti.
Ps. Ben, do you remember almost getting in a fight with some dude at the bar? meh, me either.

Lindsey Baldwin - 5 Bill Clinton's: wow. I don't think anyone had you in their "Most likely to..." pool. Excellent work, were all very proud.
Thats all I got. This weekend ripped hard. Can't wait till next year.


Ben said...

The near fight was pre-blackout. Some random tag along started throwing bottles on the floor of the bitter end... a place more sacred to me than Mecca is to the Islams. So I was in a jubilant mood; I picked up the bottle and said dude don't throw bottles on the floor. Douche bad takes the bottle I put back on the counter, spikes it on the floor, then gets about 3 inchs from my face. This is the point where I said, "look around you, you're surrounded by about 20 of my best friends and they're wasted. Don't be stupid." Then his girlfriend, who was way too hot for him, took him out of the bar."
All and all I have seen the scene play out with Davin and me about 100 times so I knew the end result.

Also I give a 1, or a, Michelle Malkin, or a Visor Matt, to shitty acronyms like STFU.

Lastly I give a 5, or a Bill Clinton, or a Mr. T (ya whats up) to Lindsay Davidson. Baldwin might have won MVP for night in the slammer but Im going with not not so sleeper pick of Davidson. Any chick who leaves a party bare assed, pants around her ankles, after not sleeping for 72 hours and then goes to the airport to get more faded wins hands down.

The Dood said...

Wow Ryan, you really showed all of us how you're just as cheap as VM. Just joking. So yeah, you snuck in to a concert in Golden Gate Park, good for you buddy, hippie points for you. The fact you feel the need to rub it in all of our faces, us meaning the ones that don't mind supporting bands we like and paying them for an experience I'll never forget and helping bring this concert back to our backyard, I guess says something about young adults today. If we can slide by without paying our dues then we will. I am very happy that I did see you there, much better with you. However, when a guy has to repeatedly tell me how proud of himself he screwed the system, I'm thinking your blog is about the fifth time at least, I just have to let him know... its like being the smartest kid in special ed. Because like anything in life, if VM can do it, it must not be that hard.

Turner said...

yo cake is tight. and yeah, not sure what stfu means but it sounds weak sauce or ws. and the idea of "supporting" Tom Petty is laughable, the guy has a bajillion dollars. I wouldn't sneak into a local show of some neighborhood bands, but a big ole concert like that, good work. On a related note I was at a USA vs. Russia basketball game a few weeks ago in Shanghai and snuck into the locker rooms, unfortunately mintues after the teams left. But, my friend grabbed a photographers jacket and then snuck into the Kobe/ Coach K press conference. Although total dusche bag for not raising his hand and saying "Hi Kobe, I'm Shannon Linnane, Sacramento Bee. I just have one question, can you tell me how my ass taste?".