Thursday, October 9, 2008

The Philly Stink

Open letter to approximately 35% of the men in Philadelphia:

You STINK
As in, you smell like raw meat *plenty of seasoning* left out in the sun for a couple weeks. Certified B.O.
Please upgrade your habits of personal hygiene, you disgust me.

Signed,
Ryan M. Rowe


Ok ok, so youre asking..."dude, Ryan, why the FUCK are you going around smelling dudes in Philadelphia?"...Lets just say, due to working conditions, ive been in close proximity to a large amount of people, within a close-quartered room in downtown Philadelphia for the entire week.
Ive met rich people, poor people. Tall people, short people. Skinny people, fat people, young people, old people...and yet, The Stink can be found attached to men in every one of these groups. It is truly a funk that does not discriminate.

So WTF Philly? Why do you smell? Its not hot, quite brisk at a brisk 71 degrees during the day. Maybe it is all those Philly Cheesesteaks you eat. Maybe you are all huge Phillies fans and have sworn a vow of zero bathing for the playoffs. And that is the only acceptable explanation I will consider.

Cashman, help me out; have dudes in Philly always stunk? Can you confirm or deny the playoff theory? Is there a possible Philadelphia Eagles wildcard that Im completely failing to recognize?

5 comments:

Jen said...

i don't know about "the stink" but i know i love Mcnasty and my EAGLES! WHATTTT!

Keeping Tech Blog > Searching Google said...

Have you run into Charlie, Mac, Dee, Danny DeVito and that one guy yet?

*RyRowe* said...

No I didn't, but I did meet 'Ashy Larry' of Chappelle Show fame

Sheyna Greenamyer said...

I do not except the playoff theory as to why they stink. I think you are closer with the Eagles statement.

If all the men smell of meat in Philly I would hate to be a vegetarian!

TheTOB said...

This is long, but worth the read. It might help you further understand your Philly experience.

http://deadspin.com/5065810/the-angryville-chronicles-stories-about-philadelphias-ferociously-loyal-amusingly-vile-fanbase